Science freak… to Jesus freak!!!

I wanted to write my story of how I became a Jesus freak for a long time… The other day I had a talk with a friend and he was asking me the same thing… So I think I’ll just edit and paste that conversation here instead of writing the whole thing again! (Being lazy as always )

Friend: so how did ya come to the lOrd? curious..

Me: me… well… its a looooong story But if you want it short… He just proved Himself to be the only one I could trust.

Friend: so you wanna start the story??

Me: hahaha ohhh sure? Oki.. well basically I been a science freak, a very logical person… wanted a proof for everything

Friend: sounds good .. go on..

Me: believed with my whole heart that it was just a matter of time and someone would come up with a theory to prove that God doesn’t exist.. But ofcourse my mom was a believer all the while… so I had all the arguments of a christian in my head… but I hated it!!

Friend: ah.. rebellious huh?

Me: because I thought she was silly that instead of doing something about a situation, she would pray first.. and only then do what is to be done… yeah!! kinda rebellious in my heart… but very silent at home

Friend: the silent killer …

Me: hehehe.. yeah!! But in school I was appreciated for my “logical head”…school was different…lotta people who wanted to be my friend

Friend: go on.. am listenin

Me: I was in this 3 girls gang! We were known as the “Trio” of (school name) and friends meant everything to me….well basically… I trusted my friends more than anything!! And one day I came to know that they were cheating on me for a whole year… and I had no clue!!! As in… they created rumours that I was in love with a senior guy! Reason? cause my friend liked this guy!! hehehe… silly girlish brains working! Actually even this guy knew that such a rumour existed, but he was also taking advantage of it!! And I thought he was also a good friend!

Friend: typical.. watched the movie Mean girls?

Me: hahaha nah … my story huh?

Friend: sorta … very close.. only thing, they don’t end up saved..

Me: ohhh thats so sad .. emmm …

Friend: Anyways go on..

Me: Okay.. Now at the same time, there was another girl, who wanted me to be in love… because she thought it was not right that such an “awesome” gurl like me .. doesnot have a boyfriend!! lolz

Friend: with whom?

Me: emm with anyone…. hehehe.. but I had to have someone!!

Friend: Ok… more like prestige huh?

Me: But I didn’t like to be in a relationship for some other reason… which again is a long story all by itself.. Anyways, but I didn’t want a boyfriend!! But my friends wouldn’t share their secrets or even be my friend if I didn’t have a guy!! And well… I needed friends cause they meant everything to me… so I decided to try my luck on this one guy from church…

Friend: hmmm strange friends .. makes me wonder .. Were they friends with you for who you were or for who your boyfriend was?

Me: hehehe… Hey, these girls are realy good girls, alright?? I mean… they were really my good friends… one of them has been my friend from 1^st grade!! But then people are people… they are not angels even if they seem like one so often! Ones in awhile we all go wrong! Anyways, this guy I had in mind sings well… and that’s one thing I adore… And I was also into singing and writing songs and all..

Friend: talented eh?.. good

Me: hehehe we’re all good at something, aren’t we? Now using it just for God’s glory alone. Not mine!

Friend: ok

Me: Anyways, so my friend gets this guy’s phone number somehow and talks in my name! so basically I get into a terrible dilemma… so to save my skin, I again make another call to the guy and try to convince him that the one who called earlier in my name was a friend!!! But anyways, I managed to makes a mess outta the whole thing … I made a fool out of myself before that guy also and I was heat broken!

Friend: wow.. nice .. can make a movie by now.. J

Me: hahaha sure… Im thinking I should cause its really amazing how God brought everything together to strike me down, so He could come in…hehehe.

Friend: true

Me: well so I come back home… and I realize that I cannot trust my friends cause they create rumours for their own pleasures…. then I realize that I can’t trust my family … cause when I told my mom and opened up the whole thing to her… she just said… “well. you never listened to me… now u bare the consequences!”
well my mom is a gr8 person.. But I beleieve that day she was just supposed to act indifferent cause God was in the business of preparing my heart to receive Him!

Friend : and?

Me : and then, I realized I couldn’t trust myself either.. cause I made the stupidest call to this singer guy and made a mess for myself… I was stupid!! So I was in my room not able to trust my friends, family or myself…

Friend: hehe nice..

Me: I was in my 9th grade then, and I was sitting in front of my chemistry text…

Friend: early start!

Me: And if you remember, they had a chapter… with different scientists… talking about the structure of atom… One said neutron is in the centre and the electrons go around them in fixed orbits… another said that electrons are like clouds around the neutron… and yet another comes up with the quantum theory!! Remember that lesson?

Friend: yeah remember that part… my favourite … one of them atleast!!

Me: hehehe… so I sit in front of my science text book and all of a sudden it strikes me that even science cannot be trusted… Science is a history of scientists stating and re-stating theories…. Today they might say drinking coffee is good and a lil while later they say it is deadly… cancerous! What ever you want to hear, you can hear through science… If you search google for articles that say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you might find quite a number of articles to prove it! And if you search for articles that say breakfast is not the most important meal of the day, you might find a number of articles on that too…

Friend: I thought you would figure that out earlier.. “miss Logical head”

Me: yeah… But I was in love with science.. And love is blind

Friend: hahaha .. !! good try!!

Me: so basically now I couldn’t trust my friends, family, MYSELF nor science…and I cried and I cried and I cried… I was all confused now… I couldn’t find a point in living… no one to trust… not even myself… no reason to live… and science that I trusted all my life was also not something I could hold on to… I couldn’t depend on something like science that would change every now and then to decide my eternity… I mean if science may not be true, then there might be a God… and if there is a God.. I wasn’t a believer… and if so.. then I might go to hell! So I need God when I am dead.. so that I can go to heaven…. But I also needed a God to live!!! Cause I couldn’t find any other reason in life… I needed someone to trust… And God was the only option left! Not even myself… but Jesus! I was in tears…. And I slept off…. Felt too tired… Im so glad I slept off cause I was even thinking of suicide… At times, when you have no answer, the easy way out is escape… and I wanted to escape through suicide… silly! I know!

Friend: hope the table didn’t break right through because of your tears, huh! So are you against science now??

Me: hahaha nah! itwas a strong table And nope, not against science… As long as science is an attempt to understand God’s creation…I love it!! But when it tries to get God out of the picture, it’s just a waste of time and money

Friend : hehehe.. okay.. continue…

Me : well then I had this dream… I was outside and its dark.. ans I saw a huge cup up in the sky and it was filled with some bluish blackish liquid… and there was a cat or a snake or a bat or … I mean all scary animals….I dont like cats either… I know some may disagree with cats being scary lolz.. But I just don’t like cats… anyways… in that dream I see all this.. and I feel so guilty…

Friend: ok nice zoo

Me: hehehe… yeah… and like as if I’m doomed… and that I deserved punishment or something… and then the cup was tilted… and the liqid starts to fall on me… I believe that represents the wrath of God or something… but then I woke up…

Friend: was it tastey? :p

Me: I somehow made the repenters prayer that day… I said, “Lord I know I have done many things wrong.. and I deserve hell!! But I want to change… I want someone to trust and I want to have a reason for living!! Jesus I want to give you a try!!”

Hehehe..

Nah!! I never had to taste it.. and Im glad… so I doubt if that was tasty.. lolz

Friend: but Jesus sure tasted nice alright?

Me: Yeah! I’ve tasted Jesus from that day… and boy-o-boy He’s so sweet…

He’s always been trustworthy…and faithful…:)

Friend: ah… so that was a dramatic story..

Me: hehehe yea… but I never really knew that the prayer I had made that day was anything significant… so I made a public stand much later… But yea it was a very dramatic story! And I love it, cause I got the revelation directly from Jesus… not through any person or a meeting or anything…

Friend: You baptised?

Me: Yep yep… took baptism even later.. cause dad’s permission was important!

Friend: strong foundation!!

Me: hehe yea… foundation is strong.. amen

Friend: ok.. so all of you now pentecostal?

Me: pentecostal?? Emm…. Yea..but no white dress.. and we do wear jewellery !!

Friend: hehe okay… so thats the journey from being a science freak to Jesus freak!

 

Do you have your Citizenship proof?

I saw a building overflowing with people and I was sure I had found the place I was looking for – the Passport Office! Got myself an application form from an old man and decided to take it back home to read it all in detail and bring all the documents required! And sure enough, there were many people (agents) tring to get my attention and ask for their help in filling up the form! I was already warned of such people. They might be a boon to many wealthy, no-time-in-hand people; but for a girl like me who had all the time in hand to spend waiting in the long queues in the passport office, and also the basic knowledge of English to read the instrucions and fill up the forms, these agents were just a hole in the pocket! So I refused their expensive offers politely and went back home. I did a thorough research about applying for a passport from the new website the passport office had started and also some practical info. from other friends and family who had experience in this area. Then I filled up the form and went to the office with all the documents I could think of to prove all that I had to prove about myself to be eligible to get myself a passport! A look at the queue in the office, I was reminded of biology… the diagram that shows the small intestines… and about how long the intestines are and yet how they curve all around and fit itself in the stomach area! Ahh… I always hated biology… and I always hated long queues… Anyways, I waited and waited and waited… for almost half a day( waiting any longer than half a day is a waste, because they will not accept your application after 1 pm anyways). But by God’s favour alone I got to the desk and put forward the form to the man at the counter. He looked at all my documents and said… ” you don’t have anything to prove your identity… your citizenship!” I was like “WHAT??? ” I had my birth certificate, my school certificates, I lived in india all my life, I studied in india all my life, I have my college identity card, I have a driving license… that should be good enough!! I have my ration card… what more do you want??? And about my identity!! well.. I am standing before you… what more do you want to now that I exist!!! But its like they say, “if the computer doesn’t say you exist… you just dont exist!!” How ridiculous!! So that man.. I wish I could call him a gentleman… told me.. that till I was 19 years old, all the above stated documents were enough… but I am one year older than 19… and now I need either my election identity card or a bank account that has been used for a year! “But there should be something else I could do…” I pleaded..” My bank account is just 5 months old and I don’t have an election id card cause I was not all that eager to vote… and if I have to apply for one… it’ll take a long time… but I need my passport soon… ” The man said that he is not the one who makes the rules around here and said “Next!! ” Argh!!! Well I thought its a democratic country… I have a part in making the rules too… and I think this rule is just… ahhh… terrible!! I couldn’t understand why they make such a big deal out of an election id card!! And if that id card is all that big a deal, they should provide provision to apply for it anytime …. not ones in a year!!! I mean, I have to wait for a whole year to get my id card… or I have to wait another 7 months so that my bank account has one years duration! Ahh… why didn’t I apply for an account in the bank when those people came to school and stuff? Hmm.. cause I got my pocket money and never thought of a bank account! Gosh!!

Anyways, when things go wrong, I look to my Lord who can make all things beautiful.. and He usualy teaches me something from such situations… He said:-

* If a democratic country has its rules to prove your citizenship, the “Kingdom” of God also has its rules…. and many who might have thought that they have the citizenship of heaven might realize it very late that they dont have the key documents to enter heaven. There are many who think if they do good, they will go to heaven.. but it is not so… because… all the good things that a man can do are like filthy rags before the Most Holy God! Its foolishness to think that we will enter heaven by being righteous through our deeds, cause we have all sinned and fallen short of His Glory! So the key is believe in the Lord Jesus Christ as the Son of the only true God and accept Him as your Lord (meaning “owner”) and saviour. Repent of all your sins and know that when Jesus died on the cross, he paid the price for all your sins, and if you ask him for forgiveness, He is faithful to forgive you and give you eternal life. So we get to heaven through Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and because of His Grace and Mercy! There are many who knew this good news and started living life as a true christian.. but on the way, they forget the key factors and lost their salvation… Many who preach and many who do miracles in the name of Jesus might not enter the Kingdom of God, because they loose the true Gospel (meaning “good news”) They forget that “By grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast” (Ephesians 2:8, 9).

So today, make sure that you have all that it takes to be a citizen of heaven. May it not be too late to know the documents you need! And don’t complain about rules and changing rules, cause unlike India which is a democracy, Heaven is a”Kingdom” and Jesus is seated on the throne… we dont get to make the rules… only He does.. and He is a good God… So just make a simple prayer to Him and get to heaven.

About my passport, well by the grace of God, this year the application to add the names to the voters list was too long that they decided to take in the application twice a year… so I will get my election id card in a few days time and then I should be eligible for my passport too. All Glory to God.

Lion ‘n Dove… fall in Love!!!

When you are on the “hunt” for your Mister/Miss Perfect, you might never find him/her… You might go into a trial and error method of tring out anyone and everyone you come across, but you may/maynot end up with that special one… But when you let God do His job of finding you the one, He does a great job… and He does it so good!!! You wouldn’t know when or where He would show you that partner who would stick to you for a lifetime!!! And the one He finds for you will have all that you knew you wanted and also that which you never knew you wanted! After all He is the first and the best matchmaker. He was the one who brought Eve to Adam… And Adam didnt even have to ask for it! God just knew it was not good for him to be alone and provided with a helpmate suited to his needs. Now here is another true love story and God was the author of it from the beginning till now and may it continue to be so till the end… So here goes the love story of Mr. Lion and Miss. Dove.

Mr. Lion was truely a lion to the outside world! Always a leader, amazing orator! He actually sounds like a roaring lion on stage at times But there was always a need in him… a need for a good friend who would accept him as he was and a life partner who would stick to him, not just with the lion on stage- the performer, but with the man who didnot always feel like a lion inside! Ofcourse, Jesus was His Best friend, but Jesus Himself had created in Mr. Lion a void, just so that he would find the need for a Mrs. Lion… But with tough situations around, he wasn’t expecting the fantasy life of being in love! Many Lionesses passed by him… but no one seemed to fit in. Situations seemed to get worse and he had to leave his comfortable jungle- the land where water is more expensive than oil, to a land where “water water everywhere… quite some drops to drink… water water everywhere… on bumpy roads, drainage and leaking pipes!”

Our Miss. Dove on the other hand was always in the land Mr. Lion dreaded to come to… She dreamt to fly and see the world… but was caged most of her life! With the passing years she got used to her small world and explored all she could do in that lil cage! But she continued to dream of that someone who would come and take her out of that cage… to fly… high up in the sky… to stare at the beauty of the star studded sky… from outside her cage… by the side of him- Mr. Dove! She met quite some Mr. Doves, but they all proved unfaithful! She realized there wasnt anyone she could trust and stayed under the shadow of Jesus- the only one she trusted!

Jesus was the one thing both Mr. Lion and Miss. Dove had in common… and He knew them even before they were formed in their mother’s womb! He was in His matchmaking task… and He decided to let them meet for the first time!

An amazing man of God came to this lil town, and both Mr. Lion and Miss. Dove ran to hear from him… to hear about their first love- Jesus… But they never knew they were gonna meet their second love also! Their eyes met and their face was bright, bright with the love for Jesus! Even the first thing they shared was a Bible, not a red rose! Mr. Lion found her cute and felt comfortable in her presence. There was something about her that got his attention and he was full of questions to know more about her and wanted to help her with all the doubts and fears she had. Miss. Dove admired him for his wisdom, his genuine love for God and most importantly his experiences in life! She was caged all her life and never had to make a stand for anything she believed in! But Mr. Lion had much experiences in his life and she was full of respect for him and keenly listened to all his stories of adventure with the Lion of Judah- their common friend- Jesus! But it wasn’t a love at first sight! They did not meet each other again for a long time… but thoughts of one another kept them together in prayers! It was just a seed of love that was sown… that took 3 years to sprout! The seed that was sown had to die and at the right conditions, it came back to life with the resurrecting power!

After 3 years they heard that another amazing man of God was coming to their town and both of them were in great expectations! Both of them grew mature in the Lord, but they still couldnot comprehend the beautiful plans that God had in store for them! Miss. Dove was kept away from falling in love with any other man through divine intervention! She finally quit hunting for her man and gave it up into the hands of her maker! Mr. Lion had gone through enough experiences to know more clearly his need for a lover and he never bothered to hunt for her either because he believed that His maker knew him best and would provide the perfect girl for him when the time was right! When we let the important decision of finding your life partner into the hands of the Almighty, He is more than faithful to take care of it and He is never too early and never too late! He spoke to Mr. Lion in His still small voice… that the next day he would meet the girl who would be his wife! Mr. Lion was surprised, excited and yet confused if he had heard right! But with great expectations he went to the meeting to hear the man of God speak! It was worship time and he stood up, closed his eyes and worshipped his first love- Jesus. Miss. Dove, in her blissful ignorance of what God was doing, walked into the hall… The still small voice of God wispered to Mr. Lion again and said the girl walking in was to be his bride! He opened his eyes to see if there was any girl walking in, and sure enough there was one… the dove who had caught his attention 3 years back, in another meeting of a man of God!! He was surprised… continued to praise God and decided to have a talk with her after the meeting! But Miss. Dove was in a hurry and flew away from the hall without meeting the Lion who would be her husband some day! Disappointed, Mr. Lion walked on the dumpy roads of the town he never wanted to come to… to the bus stop to go back home. He was surprised that so much should happen in this place that he ones hated! He continued on his way back home but he heard about a concert the same day evening and decided to go for that also! So tired after a confusing day, he got to the concert hall and to his surprise she was there too. Miss. Dove was enjoying the music and was thrilled to see Mr. Lion again after 3 years! He said that he was blessed to see her again the same day… She noticed a change in his attitudes towards her and his extra interest in her life… She heard more about his life experiences that day and she continued to admire him and was full of respect for him… But I guess she wasn’t as strong as the Lion was to hear about God’s plans yet, so she continued in her blissful ignorance for another 3 months! But poor Mr. Lion was all confused and having a tough time with the new revelation he had about God’s plans for his life! He didnot know for sure if He had heard from God, but he had such a peace in his heart about it, the peace that passeth all understanding! Miss. Dove was still a stranger to him and he tried to collect as much information as possible about her! His friends had many opinions about the situation! But the main concern was, that he was a Lion and she was a Dove. A Lioness was better for a Lion… not a Dove! He had a glamourous life, on the fore- front, a born leader… but she was a simple girl, very silent, meek and gentle… But in between the loud voices of the many sugestions from friends, Mr. Lion heard the still small voice of Jesus again and He said she was, ” a meek and gentle spirit and is of great price before Me”(1Pt 3:3) . That one word from God- the matchmaker, had such an impact on his heart that he started to love her like crazy! He was concerned about his growing love for her because she spoke to him with ignorance of the whole situation! He wanted to be honest with her and so after much prayer he decided to speak to her about it… He knew she was just a dove and needed to be prepared to hear about it so that she doesnot freak out and fly away! And the only one who could help him was his creator and her creator- Jesus! And sure enough He was faithful in preparing her! She started coming across books that prepared her to be the wife of a man of God! She started hearing from people about marriage and how they took a stand for the will of God upon their lives! She even witnessed a wedding of a friend who got married to a man who was very different from her friend! Why would our Almighty God, go to such extremes to prepare a simple girl to hear about His plans for her life concerning marriage?? I donot know! But that is just how He is and He did a great job! She even heard a friend ask her what kind of a husband she wanted… and after hearing her desires he asked if Mr. Lion would fit in the role!!! She was shocked with that statement and played around with words without giving a proper answer! But later the still small voice of Jesus continued to question her… After 3 months from the concert day, she finally made a prayer and committed herself to the will of God concerning her marriage… After that prayer she slept off and when she woke up she had a strong feeling that something concerning her marriage was going to happen soon… she came online and Mr. Lion was online too… He said he was waiting to talk to her and said that he was going to send a mail… so please read… She almost knew what was coming and the mail didnot surprise her spirit! Mr. Lion explained the situation and Miss. Dove responded with peace! But sure enough she took her time and even got a lil freaked out when she started listening to her brain instead of her creator! She had been hurt before by her friends and other people she trusted and though she knew the wounds were healed, she was still scared of love! She was scared of giving her heart to someone and trusting that the person wouldnot break it! But soon God gave her the peace she desperately needed… She was in church and was asking God for strength to love whom ever He showed and opened her heart of fear… But just after her prayer the pastor in church said, “Perfect love casts away all fears!”(1 John 4:18) She knew God was confirming His will and in almost 3 weeks time she realized the hand of God in this relationship and said she loved him too…

So I call it the play with the number “3″, bcoz the God Almighty – The Trinity brought the Lion n Dove together. The lovers met each other the second time after “3″ years and thats when God spoke to Mr. Lion! The concert was also by a band “the Trinity”!! God spoke to Miss. Dove after “3″ months and she took “3″ weeks to accept it and boldly say the “3″ magical words!! And they plan to get married in “3″ years time

God is a perfect matchmaker… and the more the Lion n Dove come to know each other, the more they realize they were made for each other! And the problem of being a Lion and a Dove… Well he was a Lion on stage but a dove at heart and she was a Dove who could be a Lioness with her pen So now they are confused who is the Lion and who is the Dove! Coz they are no more two but one! And we know one thing for sure… Lion ‘n Dove… fell in Love… and God is the author of their lives and it is beautiful in our eyes!

Praise God.

Love never fails.

Lost and found property!

There was this tableau competition in college and I was the professor who got beaten up by his students and died, so had to look like a man, and so had to remove my gold earing. Now after the competetion, came back and was putting my ear ring- a very small one. I’m into simple jewellery ( those who have ears, let them hear… a lil tip for those who might wanna buy me something..hehe..) . If the ear ring is small, still smaller is its screw.. and when I was putting it on, the screw slipped from my hands… and it was nowhere to be seen…. I tried combing my hair to check if it was somewhere in that jungle… I jumped around the place to check if something would fall down from my dress… I swept the room to check if it was on the floor.. But nope! It was nowhere to be found!! My friends were irritating me too… Well, they were just tring to comfort me I guess, saying it wouldn’t cost much if I had to buy a screw again!! But I didnt want to buy them again. I wanted the one that was lost. It was my first ear ring… the one my grandma had gifted me with… and the only one gold earing that I like to wear… And most importantly, I dont loose things! Im supposed to be very responsible with my things… and I’ve never lost gold… Friends did search around a lil.. but I didn’t think they were helpful enough! They were busy dressing up for the skit that was in an hours time.. and asked me to get to the same and search later… That made me even more upset… but I respond to anger with silence.. So played in the skit and sang in the group song and everything.. Checked and rechecked the class… Couldnot find the screw. Went back home.. Didn’t want to go back to college ever again! Didn’t want to meet my mom … Didn’t want to wear any jewellery ever again! But then had to participate for another competition the next day… So went to college and after the competition, on my way back to the class, I looked into my bag,… and then I looked at my friend Resh and started cring…. She looked stunned wondering what happened! I explained something to her… but she didn’t understand what I was saying.. coz cring and speaking together doesnt always work! I walked to her and hugged her to try to stop cring! But hugs make me cry even more…. So I moved aside… They looked at my face and got even more confused… coz my lips looked like I was smiling… but tears were running down my cheek… After a few awkward seconds I calmed down… and explained ” I got the screw of the gold ear ring back!! It was in my bag all this while!!”

The girls laughed all over and well, I dunno about other women, and I never thought I would say this… But I guess woman are hard to understand after all! Cry with joy and dont cry when expected to??!!Hmmm… Lolz…

The reason behind me putting up this post is not to play the fool again (which by the way is a role I usually take up very often!) but coz I got a very valuable word from my Savior- Jesus dat day! When I had lost that small piece of gold, I had searched around the whole place… and was so concerned… It wouldnot have cost me much… may be Rs.200/- coz it was just a small screw! And yet I was so concerned for it! And I searched so much for it! But it cost Jesus His life to offer salvation to the world! How much more would Jesus want His lost people back to Himself… How much would His heart grieve for the lost souls… and how much he would rejoice at a single soul that is saved! When I had lost my ear ring, I expected my friends to understand my heart and search for the ring more seriously than get occupied with a skit!! They are wonderful people and very close friends… but at that moment, their priority was the skit, and mine was the ring! So often we christian, who say we are saved and we want Jesus more than anything else, get our priorities on the lil things of the world… my exam… my family… my headache… my pin… my… my… my…. And we forget the heart of Jesus which is grieving for the lost!!! Let us try and understand Him better and put our focus on eternity!

Peace!

‘I AM’ coming back…

I have been saying that I will get back to blogging… and it has been months since I started saying that! And I know people loose their anticipation to welcome you back after a certain period of waiting! But yep, Im finally back and I wonder how many of my readers still check this page!!! and how many are preapared for my return!!!

Well there is nothing much to prepare for my return! But there is someone else who is coming back and there is definitly a lotta preparation required to welcome Him! “Jesus is coming back!” We have been hearing that for quite some time now, haven’t we? Infact its been said for centuries now! Almost 2000 years now! Hmm.. That is a lot of time and as humans, it is quite natural that our anticipation fades away! But if me, a carnal human being can keep my word and actually come back to blogging, Jesus is no man that He should lie… He said “I Am that I AM” meaning ” I am all that I say I am” He is the son of God, He is the Messiah, He is the Savior to all who believes in Him, repents from their sins, turns to Him and accepts Him as the Lord of their lives. He said He is coming back and He definitly is! And this time He is not coming as a carpenter’s son, weak and helpless as a new born baby, born in a manger! He is not coming to be crucified either because that was “finished” ones and for all, on that cross for the sin of the whole world!! But the second coming will be majestic! Coming on a white horse with millions and billions of angels! The Almighty, when the trumphet blows, will come back to get His bride- the Church… the ones who believe in Him and have kept themselves pure! And also for the final judgement! The book of Revelation gives me thrills each time I read it! But are we prepared for His return? Make sure you are… for the sake of your eternity!

So All4love is back to talk about “I AM that I AM” and that He is coming back!

Blessings.

Just the way I am

Artist: All4love

Album: (still need to work on it.. )

Track: Just the way I am.

 

I tried to fit into the world,

playing different roles in different places.

I tried to fill my emptiness,

doing different things with different people.

 

But Jesus, You love me,

Just the way I am.

Jesus, You fill me.

Gave a reason for my life.

 

Unconditional, is the love that captures me.

Faithful father, you give me security.

I’m fascinated at the price that you paid

To make me worthy to be called your child.

 

I wanna worship You my King,

Who’s carved me in the palm of His hands.

I wanna dwell in the tents,

Of the King who’s called me by name.

 

Cause Jesus, You loved me,

Just the way I am.

Jesus, You fill me.

Gave a reason for my life.

 

Unconditional, is the love that captures me.

Faithful father, you give me security.

I’m fascinated at the price that you paid

To make me worthy to be called your child.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Away for reasons…

Im keeping myself away from blogging for a while…. for some reasons… I think I lost my focus… Might get back if the Lord allows…

Bye for now…

Peace!

Took too long…

She lay down on her bed staring out through the window. Her thoughts wandering many places, events and people… but the thoughts kept coming back to him… “Why do I keep thinking of him?? Its all over!!…” she thought and sat up on her bed tring to stop those memories from rushing back again! She put on the music player and adjusted the ear phones in her ears and lay down again… Increased the volume… again… and again… but it wouldn’t be louder than his gentle voice that echoed in her ears…. If he had stayed around a little while longer…… things might have been different…. Its all his fault!!

It started drizzling outside…. she always loved the rain…always wanted to run out into the rain and feel the rain drops fall on her face… n splash the water with her feet… she had told him so too…. but he had laughed at her… the thoughts brought a smile on her face… Humming a song she walked to the door and put a step forward and felt a few drops of rain on her feet… Those first few drops gave her such a thrill… but she stopped there… Her heart said, ” Run… jump… let the shower pour on you… let it refresh your dull and dry life…” But she didnt. She stood there… she couldnt leave the comfort she had in that room… It was somthing better outside… its something she always wanted… and yet she stood there. Wanting to leap into the rain… and yet… just stood there…

Snap out of it girl!! Go out there… and do what you always wanted to do…. You cant feel the rain and not get wet!! She smiled again…. and walked out of that room… out of that door… stretched out her hands…. a few drops… but then the rain stopped…

She took too long to listen to her heart … about the rain… and him… But it was all over now…. the rain… and him…

Seek God when you can find Him. We often take His love for granted. His grace for granted. But dont be fooled and seek Him when you can find him. He’s coming back soon….

Rainy days are here again!

I wanna see the stars in the night sky…

But why is the sky so clowdy these days?

I wanna speak my heart out to someone..

But why is it that I dont know wat to say?

I wanna continue writing this poem..

But why do I think I shud rather sit n …(day…say…way..lay…gay..oh yeah.) Pray!!

Lolz

Its raining…. N rain usually has very strange effects on me!!! Though I absolutely love it!! Esp. when it thunders… May be bcoz the Bible says that my God’s voice is like the voice of thunder… Just imagine the majesty of it all… Phew! Awesome.

Camera goof ups!

Im back to my crazy, normal self again! The past few days I’ve been tring to get MORE sensible… n mature… n practical… n organized and all those “perfection” stuff by making schedules after schedules… n more of schedules ! But now I’ve come to a compromise with myself… Im gonna be myself! YAhO0oooooo……….

So let me share something I did, so you can join me in the celebration of “The Return of ***IE” (dont wanna reveal my name here!) . I did share in an earlier post about my photography assignment in college. Now, Id finished a whole roll of film, and being a perfectionist, wanted to take more shots so I could choose the best for the assignment. Now, the line of enthusiasm with which I start a job, usually take a steep fall in b/w and then shoot up again at the 11th hour of the last day for submission!

So the initial days, I used to run behind butterflies for a shot…and get amazed at a dew drop on a rose petal n focus my camera on that… n zoom the camera lens to 2 ants very close to each other, either wispering secrets or kissing!! Very soon I got tired of my camera eyes that got amazed at everything I came across, and decided, “hey Im almost done! Got amazing and unique shots already, got almost 10 days to submit the assignment, so I’ll do the rest later!” …. And sure enough, I completely forgot about the assignment till the last day. So the last day, I started looking around for the camera… but couldn’t find it…. Atlast found it on my dad’s table. How did it reach his table??? Never mind, I’ll ask him later… gotta run to college ….. took some more unique shots like 2 twin sisters standing next to each other, making one look like a mirror reflection of the other..etc… The bell rang, was time to leave, n PHEW!! jus managed to get all the shots I wanted… Will give the roll to the studio on my way back home and ask my dad to collect the developed photos when he comes back from work! All under control!

Walking towards my scooter, I decided to wind back the film roll from the camera so as to give it to the studio without wasting any more time… n started winding… n winding… n winding… Hmmm… It seemed very loose…. Its suposed to be a lil more tight, aint it???So slowly decided to open the back of the camera, n WAT???!!!! Oh MY!!! The unexpected happened!!! There is NO film roll in it!!! Nothing at all!!! I took all those shots for nothing???!!! Deceived by a camera!! Went back home…. n gots to know, dad had used up the roll for some shots he needed… Emmm… I looked down, turned around, n walked away… Perfection had to be thrown out of the window.. I had to settle with the snaps I had… and got a good grade anyways! So no worries!

Note: If ur a camera manufacturer, plz provide a provision to check if their is a film roll in the camera without having to open it up! Make the back part transparent or something! Coz opening it up wud either mean xposing the film or…. xposing my shame!

A friend who had read this blog was telling me smthing that made a lotta sense. Lemme share it wid u. I might not express it as well as he did. But I gotta try. Just like in my case where I was putting a lot of trust in my camera, and doing so many things putting my trust in it, so also, many of us put our hope in the things of the world… may be the recommendation of a big shot for a job, or our experiences, or our money, e.t.c… But get deceived at the end of it all… Like pouring cold water on all our hard work. How can we put our trust in man who has but a breath in his nostrils… But those who put there trust in Jesus will never be put to shame.

What does your Handwriting say about you?

People love to know what others got to say about them, and why not be excited about what their handwriting’s got to say about them! Im no expert in the subject at hand, but I did go through a book on Graphology a few years back. I’m telling you, its fun! Google defines it as, ” The study of handwriting, especially when employed as a means of analyzing character.” Its based on science. ( not superstition, as in zodiac signs and other astrological predictions) What’s amazing is that this science is used even in courts to distinguish a murder from a suicide. ( because if its an actual suicidal letter, the handwriting would support his/her mental condition and make it look very messy.. but if it’s someone else who wrote that letter.. it would be easy for a graphologist to suspect a murder) Check out FBI files in Discovery channel. You’ll be surprised how often graphologists save the day and put the guilty behind iron bars! But as for me, I love graphology because I can have fun freaking newly made friends by telling them there characters from their handwritings. Since I consider all my readers my friends, I’ll start with you… Take a plain paper and write whatever you feel like. Make it atleast three sentences. Now I insist that you write before you read any further, cause accuracy of graphology depends on the writer’s mental state when he/she is writing.. and if you are conscious of being analysed by what you write, you might not get an interesting character definition.. Anyways, here are a few points to look at that helps find what your handwriting’s got to say about you…

1. If you started writing from the top of the paper, you are a pretty organized person. You look before you leap. And if you started writing from the centre, you might be a person who likes to be the centre of attention or you are very disorganized.

2. The lesser space you leave to the left side of your page, that much attached you are to your past experiences.. you dont tend to forget your past that easy. And the lesser space you have at the right side of the paper, the more you think about your future..

3. Check out the slant of your lines. Do your lines ascend from left to write? then your in a good mood now! And if the lines go down from left to right, then you might have had a bad day. And if its in no regular order, going up and down, then you are very confused. And if the lines are as straight as an MS Word file… then you are in a neutral mood right now.

4. Do you have a handwriting that slants to the right like “this”, the more it slants to the right, the more emotional you are. And the more it slants to the left, the more hard hearted you are.. And if it stands straight up like this font, then you are a very stable person.

5. If your handwriting looks organized, into neat paragraphs and lines that are parallel to each other, then you are organized. If your handwriting looks confused, then you are confused.

6. Now check out your “o”s . Do you completely close the “o”s ?? Or do you have “o”s that might be confused to “u”s ??? The more open your “o”s are, the more open minded you are. And the more closed your “o”s are, the more difficult it is for you to open up to people.

7. Check out your “e”s. How long is the tail of your “e”s?? … Im not talking about the loop on top of an “e” , but the extention line that comes below. The more the extention of your “e” , the more generous you are.. and the shorter tail you have, the more kanjuse you are.

8. How sharp are the curves of your “t”s and “f”s ?? The sharper, the more hot tempered you are.

9. The more curves and loops you add to your alphabets, the more artistic you are.

10. If the dots of your “i”s n “j”s are just dots, then you are quite an easy going person. But if your one of those who draw a small circle instead of a simple dot, you might be a reserved person. Even if you talk a lot, you still dont open up your inner feelings to others easily. And there are even people who don’t put a dot at all… if ur one of them, Im sorry.. I forgot what that stands for..

There is a whole lot more of such details where your handwriting reveals your character..

If you see these two sentences, what do you think??

“My name is Becky.”

“I’m        36 years old.”

Nope, its not my name, nor my age… But if a graphologist looks at it, he/she will doubt the credibility of the ladies age being 36, cause he will notice the gap before she writes her age… which shows, she paused there… and thought for a second what to write… she might have decided to write the truth anyways, or decided to lie… but whatever the case, it sure will get the graphologist’s suspicious eyes. So guys/girls, if you write a love letter to your betterhalf, check out if you left a gap before details.. esp. if you have written something like,

” Come on sweetheart, you know I       love you….”

or “sure I      trust you”

If you did, you better take another paper and write again…. he/she might have gone through some article on graphology , or may be even this post.. and might start suspecting your love… And if your disappointed with what your handwriting is telling about you, dont worry, just change your handwriting, and your character might change too Lolz.. But easier than changing your “handwriting” to change your character for the better , u just need to ask your creator to change you. A small prayer to Jesus and He’ll help you out!

There is a lot more I could tell you about graphology, But its hard to explain when there is a computer between us.. but may be when I get to see you next time… till then bubye. Have fun. And keep writing. Computer printed letters and documents really disappoint me now… you tend to loose out on knowing so much more about people that you cold have known if they had written in their original handwritting. emm…

Wudn’t u trust Him ?

A girl commented on my post “Wat’s ur ambition” , n this song is a dedication for u.. I dunno who u r.. But hope u like it.. Its a song, n I’ve put music to it too… But its so sad I cant sing it out to u… May b u’ll get to hear it wen I bring out my music cds someday… Im serious… dont b surprised if u find a cd of my songs at ur nearest music store.

Anyways, here’s the song I wrote wen I was praying abt my future..

Artist: All4love

Album: (still need to work on it.. )

Track: Light inside of me.

 

I don’t know what tomorrow holds.

I don’t know the blueprint of my life.

But I do know the One who knows my future.

His name is Jesus, He’s the light inside of me.

 

I do know that I’m so weak.

And I do know that I’ve failed before.

But I also know the One who is my strength.

His name is Jesus, He’s the light inside of me.

 

I don’t know how things will fall in place.

How circumstances will change to better days.

But I do know the One who keps His promise.

His name is Jesus, He’s the light inside of me.

 

Ch:

So why do you worry, O you, of little faith.

Why do you hurry, He’s always on time.

What more does it take than to die on that cross,

to prove that He loves you.

Wouldn’t you trust in Him now?

He’s proved that He loves you.

Wouldn’t you trust in Him now?

 

Love or Friendship?

A poem I never completed…..

” I knew you were for me,

but what will you be?

a friend? or something more?

a hidden love in my heart’s core?”

Another poem i found in my diary that I wrote as a 12 yr old girl… Well, this is an emotion I can still connect to. Have you had a friend of the opposite sex… n you get to know him so well, that u start wondering if ur feelings for him is jus friendship or love?? Coz, I really dont understand the difference b/w love n friendship…. In love there is a physical attraction too… aint that the only difference? N ofcourse…. commitment for a life time…. that makes a huge difference I guess… But even friendship can b a commitment for a life time..rite? A commitment that’s not bound by law ofcourse…. unlike marriage! People who r in love… tell me… is the physical aspect the only difference b/w love n friendship?

Im in love with my friend………………………………………………………………………………….. Jesus!

12 yr old’s love song.

I was searching my cupboard for some papers wen “My box of memories” got my attention. Its a box where I store up all my diaries, letters from friends, cards, gifts, n even some silly things like a name slip of a friend with a picture of a mirmaid, a green stone that a friend n I got while playing, some beads of a chain my friend had gifted me with… n something that I assume were flowers once upon a time..

So, obviously I forgot wat Id planned to do, sat down on my bedroom floor n started reading a book-my diary wen I was 12yrs old… A poem i wrote in that got my attention. Its smthin i wrote in my SUPW class where I was supposed to do fabric painting.. I was always a dreamer i guess! But I couldnt figure out why i wrote such a depressing love song at the age of 12. Im sure I was never in love… n even my first crush was only at the age of 15. So why did i write it ?? I dunno…. but I still remember writing it.. I remember how I’d get some rhyming words first n then construct a poem from it. Thats right! Poetry meant “make sentences using some rhyming words…” Whoever said poetry was a continuos flow of emotions?? My poetry wasnt continuos nor were it a result of any emotions!… hehehe.. Anyways, this is what I wrote… n I had called it “Hope” .. I dunno why. But before judging me from wat u read now….. trust me… I can write a lot better now…. jus that Im lazy

 

You are something of my own,

 

a beautiful shining moon,

 

of the dark silent night,

 

a star shining bright.

 

 

You flew high above

 

like a lovable dove.

 

I could see you always,

 

but couldnt reach your place.

 

 

Once I came to you,

 

with my heart of love for you.

 

But you stood silent.

 

With a broken heart i went.

 

 

There were tears in my eyes

 

but now i realize,

 

that if you are for me,

 

you’ll come back to me.

 

Emmm…. such a depressing song! But Im so loved by my creator that nothing  really seem to depress me!  There is always hope in Christ. If you dont have that hope, u definitly need to pray and ask Jesus to be your friend. Im telling you… your missing a lotta fun if you dont have Him.

 

 

Turning a fresh new page…

I get bored very easily, esp. with myself… n that could b the reason why I keep tring new things.. And recently I’ve been making a few changes to myself.

-> I got tired of the way I look, n I got myself a new hair style. I had long hair with a combination of v-cut n step cut.. n lemme add.. ” I looked good” …. but now I got myself a blund cut.. hair is short. How short is short?? till my shoulders! Lotta ppl hav diff. opinions abt how I look.. But I love the feel of it… n thats all it takes to keep me happy… n I hope that b4 I start disliking it, the hair wud grow back….

-> I wanted to change my wardrobe too.. n get some dresses that wud suite my new look. But Im not a millionare yet to throw all my dresses n get new ones! So nuthin has happened as yet.

-> I’ve taken an oath to study well.. n inspite of knowing very well that such promises to myself hav been broken ‘n’ number of times in the past, I still like to be optimistic n believe that it wud happen this time! Dare to dream big!
-> Till today I had a set of “responsibilities” at home n I allowed myself to b blamed only if i didnt do them.. but now I choose to take up all the responsibilities I can in my household without complaining (even if it means keeping a book or the snacks box that my brother misplaced back in its place…..!!!!???? emmmm….. well I think i’ll need to change that resolution into smthin more practical n benificial to all…..)

-> I’ve given up all efforts of finding Mister Perfect! I was waiting for u to stumble into my life sweetheart, but u didnt turn up yet! So i quit looking for u… Now God’s gotta bring him to me at the right time… I aint gonna waste any more time on the look out. Good for me! I know.

-> Im gonna take music composing seriously… Lord, gimme new songs that wud touch souls.. that wud change lives… that wud bring peace, beauty n harmony.. that wud inspire ppl to love God n love one another…. coz only love could make a way….

I gotta run…. had a lot more to add to this fresh new page of life…. But no time … miles to go before I sleep… miles to go before I sleep….