As a young girl of the 21st century, I enjoyed the benefits of women’s rights. I had the privilege of going to school, college and employment in a multi national company earning almost 10 times more than what my mother earned when she was my age! Being a daughter was never a disadvantage over being a son. And unlike the old times when the family chose the guy with whom a girl should spend the rest of her life with and got to see him only on the wedding night, I could marry my love with the blessing of both our families and the society! I am grateful to the benefits of women’s rights that many have fought for. But now I struggle with a few of its consequences.
I chose to quit my job for a while and enjoy the honeymoon period after my wedding… I chose to be a housewife for a while so I could get used to the cooking and the other household duties and being their for my husband when he is back from work… I soon realised that being a housewife is a fulltime job by itself, though not as rewarding as a corporate job, it was best for the family and in turn for me! My husband earns enought for the both of us, so I could choose not to go out for a job and do my share at home. But the world that preaches equality for women will not let me enjoy this privilege… According to them the wife had to work to prove her independence and equality to men even if she doesnot feel the need for it… Many even assumed that it was not a choice by the wife to stay at home, but the result of a supressive husband! Being a person with an addiction for approval, I started looking for suitable jobs…
The priority for a good wife/mother is to be there for her family. But with the world that preaches equality of men and women, there were no jobs tailered for the needs of a wife/mother anymore. The working hours of all the jobs available are too long that by the time I get back home, I am too tired to cook for my family and wash plates and clean the house and be there for my kids ( when I have kids!)… And most importantly, a tired woman cannot appreciate her husband’s ‘act of love’ at night as much as a women who had the whole day to do the household duties and by evening she is ready and waiting to welcome him back home.
The fact remains that there are many families where both the parents work and they still manage to survive in this world! There are many who sell their duty of taking care of their kids to a housemaid… there are a few who manage to juggle all the work themselves and are drained out by the end of day… and a rare few like my mother who are blessed with a job that are not too demanding and so gives them enough time for the family! But in general, women struggle to get such a job. Why? Because in the fight for the rights of women, they got carried away and started fighting to be treated as men! No matter what they say, men and women are not the same… so fighting for equality is overrated! Men have an inbuilt desire to be the breadwinner for the family and women have an inbuilt desire for nurturing and being there for the family. That is more important to her than a job that gives her the status of ‘independence and equality’. Women’s rights have definitly benefited many who were suppressed for ages, but it has also created a society that no more appreciates a women who does what her instincts tell her to do. She is expected to stand shoulder to shoulder with men and breed children whose needs are met by housemaids more than their own mother!